Pyramid Schemes Read online

  Or stay and rule in my stead, you stupid son of a bitch.

  Farwell, Savior. Go fuck yourself.

  Yours in hate,

  Entipy

  Chapter 19 The End

  I sat and stared at the note for what seemed an infinite amount of time. Then, slowly, I rose from the bed. I was still clad in a sheet and I very slowly, very deliberately dressed myself. I did not put on any clothes that seemed appropriate to royalty. Instead I dressed myself in the outfit that I was wearing when I had first arrived.

  My thoughts flew to the tapestry that my father, Odclay, had shown me so long ago. The one of me seated on a throne, a ruler.

  I walked out of the room and made my way through the corridor. Never had I moved so slowly. I felt as if I had aged a hundred years while reading Entipy’s last words.

  My gods, how much had she loathed me, to have been willing to give up her life in order to inflict the throne upon me?

  You knew it was too easy. This was all your fault. If you had been honest with her, if you had told her the real reason you had abandoned her, none of this would have happened.

  My inner voice was right, of course. Just as I had been responsible for the deaths of everyone whom I had ever loved, it had happened once more. Whatever my motives had been, the outcome had nevertheless been horrific.

  Soon I found myself in the main throne room. It was the middle of the night, and the only illumination in the room was coming from the torches that lined it.

  I stood there and stared at the throne.

  I was the king of Isteria. The next day, Entipy would be buried and I would be crowned. Someone had told me that, I now belatedly realized. When I had been in my disconnected state, sitting on the bed and oblivious to the world around me, someone had sat down next to me and told me what was going to happen. Perhaps it had been the Arch Mage, perhaps someone else. I had no recollection. How odd to be so absent from the world that you have discussions that you then remember only long after the fact.

  I assumed that everyone was steering clear of me for the moment because I had been reduced to unmanly hysterics by what I had witnessed. I couldn’t blame them. Since in theory I was the next king, it must have been quite disconcerting to see me react in so womanish a fashion.

  But now what?

  Now what?

  I could leave. That would not be an issue. I knew ways to sneak out of the castle. Guards were there to prevent people from coming in, not getting out.

  I could leave and be quit of the place. And yes, hundreds of people would die if I did so, but what of that? I’d been responsible for the deaths of thousands. What were a few hundred more?

  Let it burn. Let the state of Isteria burn.

  Slowly I became aware that something was watching me. I turned and saw the tapestry, that damned tapestry of the savior of Isteria on the phoenix. The one that everyone assumed was me.

  If I could go back in time to one moment in my life, it would be to when I had stopped Tacit from taking the phoenix and going off to finish his quest. In that one moment, I had thrown the entirety of my life out of whack. Tacit should have ruled at Entipy’s side and they would have lived happily ever after.

  Instead I had destroyed her life.

  And could now destroy hundreds more.

  Just by doing nothing.

  As I always had done.

  260 Peter David I stared at that tapestry, and then I walked over to the nearest torch and removed it from its holder. I went to the tapestry and shoved the torch onto the lower right corner of it. It smoldered for long moments, black smoke rising from it, and then it caught. I moved to the middle of the tapestry and ignited that, and then the far end. It took several minutes to accomplish it but soon the entire damned thing was blazing.

  I watched it.

  I loved it.

  The phoenix had ignited, and this time the damned thing

  would not come back from the flame. This time I was going to be rid of it.

  “Fire!” someone shouted.

  I glanced over and saw two knights in their night clothes, their eyes wide. The smell of the smoke had doubtless caused them to come looking for the source, and when they saw it was their beloved tapestry that had ignited, they were horrified.

  Others were showing up now, ranging from servants to other knights and ladies in waiting and whoever the hell else resided in the place. Despite the lateness of the hour, it did not surprise me that everyone was awake. News of the queen’s actions must have spread and everyone had doubtless been gathered in their rooms discussing what it all meant.

  They were starting to shout for someone to get buckets, to bring water in to extinguish it, and then above their shouts, I bellowed, “No! Leave it!”

  The command of my voice froze everyone. It was as if they were afraid to move.

  The tapestry fell off the wall and lay spread on the floor, continuing to burn. The floor and surrounding wall was entirely made of stone, so I was not the least concerned that it was going to threaten the rest of the room or even the palace.

  I stood there and watched it. Having no idea what else to do, so did everyone else.

  For quite some time the thing burned. The smoke rose and flowed out of the windows. In its haze, I watched imaginary images of everyone I had ever known. All their faces danced in front of me as if trying to provide me entertainment. I stood and watched them, and every single one of them mocked me.

  Then, slowly, I turned and walked toward the throne. Without hesitation, I stepped up to it, turned to face everyone, and sat.

  Slowly the knights approached me. Mace Morningstar was in the lead.

  Very calmly, I said, “What is the current status of our neighbors?”

  The knights glanced at each other and then Morningstar spoke up.

  “We are currently at an uneasy peace with the Middlelands and the Lower Lumbar region. But my understanding is that Echelon has formed an alliance with the dreaded Warlord Shank of the Outer Lawless Regions. Once word reaches them that the queen is dead, they will likely launch an exploratory assault to test your strength and resolve.”

  For a long moment, there was nothing but silence.

  And then I smiled.

  “Bring them on,” I said.

  About the Author

  PETER DAVID is the author of more than one hundred books, almost all of them published. He has written such fantasies as Howling Mad and Knight Life as well as an assortment of bestselling Star Trek® novels including Imzadi and the popular New Frontier series (which he co-created with John Ordover). He also co-created the TV series Space Cases with Bill Mumy, and has written for Babylon 5 and Crusade. His comic-book career spans more than a decade and includes an award-winning run on The Incredible Hulk. Sir Apropos of Nothing is his longest single work, mostly due to the use of the word “the.” He lives in New York with his wife, Kathleen, and his four daughters, Shana, Gwen, Ariel and Caroline.