1-The Long Night of Centauri Prime Page 6
With that, Senna gestured toward a section of the capital city that had already been heavily rebuilt. The entire section had been blocked off as being too badly damaged to be safe for the citizenry, so the populace had been relocated and reconstruction had progressed quickly. In some ways, it was breathtaking.
“Why? Because it means nothing,” said Telis.
She looked at him in surprise. “How can you say it means nothing?”
“Because that which we build ourselves, by definition, has no permanence. The clouds, on the other hand…”
“Have even less,” Senna countered. “Look. Even now the wind wafts them away. By morning they will be a memory, but the buildings will still be there.”
Telis smiled lopsidedly. “I have taught you too well. Countering your teacher in that way … whatever shall I do with you?” Then his face took on a more serious countenance. “I refer to more than those particular clouds, Senna. I refer to nature … to beauty … to the light. Those things will continue long after you and I are gone … long after all memory of the Centauri Republic is washed away, lost in the mists of time.”
“That will never happen,” Senna said confidently. “We have far more of a destiny to fulfill.”
“That—” he pointed at her “-is the emperor talking. Not YOU.”
“Why? Because it’s believing in something for once?” She stretched out again, the back of her head cupped in her hands. “You are exhausting sometimes, Telis. Everything, everything is always being questioned. Nothing taken for granted. Everything must be debated, analyzed, debated and analyzed more…”
“What is your point, Senna?”
“Doesn’t it sadden you? Having nothing that you truly believe in?”
“Is that what you think?”
He actually sounded stricken. She glanced over at him and was surprised to see that he appeared seriously upset at the remark. “Is that what you think?” he asked again. “Because if it is, then in all these months as my pupil, you’ve learned nothing.”
She wasn’t happy that she had upset him, for truth to tell, Telis Elaris was her favorite teacher, and she would not have wanted to hurt him for all the world. But having taken a stand, she felt constrained to defend it. “Well, what else am I to think? You dispute every conclusion I make. Even the most fundamental aspects of our life, when I bring them up, you disagree with them. Sometimes I think you’d dispute the existence of the Great Maker himself.”
“I would.”
Senna visibly blanched at that.
“You’re not serious.”
“I am.”
“But why?”
“To make you think, of course,” Telis told her. “To make you question, to encourage you to probe. You must accept nothing at face value, Senna.”
“You’re telling me that I should never have faith in anything.”
“Am I?”
She thumped the ground in frustration. “There! You’re doing it again! Answering questions with a question.”
“That should be welcome in a free-thinking society.” He looked away from her and said softly, “And I am concerned … that it will not be welcome … by all.”
She noticed that he was looking in the direction of the palace, off on a hill. “Telis,” she said firmly, “you can’t be speaking of the emperor. He fought to have you assigned as my teacher.”
“Yes. He fought. He fought because there are others who prefer not to allow freedom of speech … freedom of thought. They don’t desire it because it serves neither them nor their purposes. They require you to accept that which is presented you, and for you to question further is anathema to them.
“If, as you say, the emperor fights for freedom, well, that is to be applauded. But, my dear Senna emperors come and go. It is the society that continues at least for a time. And oftentimes those who shape the society … prefer to do so from hiding.”
“You don’t. Right there…” and she pointed. At the outer edge of the city there was a small building, rather unimpressive . The fact that it was still standing, considering the bombardment that the planet had taken, was impressive in and of itself. “Right there are your publishing offices. Everyone knows it. From there, you publish your papers and articles, challenging everything we do on Centauri Prime. You let everyone know that you believe in nothing … and yet you fault me when I point it out?”
He shook his head sadly. “And here I thought you were one of my best pupils. First, my dear, I do not attempt to shape society. I would not presume to impose my will upon it. I do not even guide. I simply attempt to get society to think for itself-about that which it has not previously considered-and to shape itself. As for what I believe in, Senna what I believe in … is believing in nothing.”
“You can’t believe in believing in nothing.”
“Of course you can,” said Telis easily. “Child, it’s not enough to open yourself to new ideas. Anyone can do that. The problem with that mindset is that usually there is a limit on the amount of `openness’ a person will accept. Sooner or later, the door to the mind swings closed once again. Most will accept just so much, and no more. The truly wise person, however, empties him-or herself of all knowledge… and remains that way. Only in that way can you remain open to all new things, all the time. Only in that way can you truly accept the endless varieties and opportunities that the world will present you.”
“Those are fine words, Telis,” replied Senna. “But words you can easily offer up with impunity, since you are not a leader. Leaders cannot remain open to all things, all the time. Leaders have to lead. They have to make decisions.”
“And you believe the leaders are presently making good decisions?”
“Don’t you?”
“A question answered with a question,” he smiled. “Perhaps there is hope for you.”
Suddenly Senna felt extremely impatient with what she perceived as constant verbal fencing. Her time with Telis frequently seemed to devolve into such matches. “Tell me. Tell me what you think,” she demanded.
“I asked you first,” he responded calmly.
“All right.” She nodded, feeling that it was a fair enough point. “I think the answer speaks for itself. Look. See the industry that is underway? And the people … they have been through so much. Suffered through the bombings, seen their homes destroyed, their livelihoods shattered. There was a time when the emperor’s walking among them posed a great security risk because there was so much anger directed toward him. But now, now they are focused on things other than anger. They are focused on recreating Centauri Prime, achieving the greatness it once knew. The emperor has put forward a vision and they share it. Certainly this is better than anger, or hostility . Better than a sense of hopelessness. The outlook of the people is far better than any would have credited possible.”
“And is that of consequence to you?” he asked.
“Of course it is! Why would you ask such a thing?”
“Because in referring to the people, you refer to ‘they’… and not to `we.’ ”
She opened her mouth to respond, then closed it.
“Would you have spoken in that manner six months ago, I wonder?” he continued. “A year ago? Who knows … perhaps you would have, back when your parents were people of rank and privilege. It could well be, Senna, that you have the snobbery of privilege so deeply ingrained within you that all it takes is the most gentle of stirrings to bring it bobbing to the surface.”
“You think I don’t know you, Telis,” Senna said. “Well, I don’t think you know me very well. Not very well at all.”
“Perhaps. I am open to that possibility.”
She swung her legs around and curled them up under her chin, pointedly keeping her back to him. “I answered you. I apologize if my answer wasn’t up to your usual demanding standards. You, however, have not answered me.”
There was a long pause. Then he said, “Why?”
She looked back at him, angling her head slightly, which indicated h
er puzzlement. “Why what?”
“That should be the first question you ask yourself about everything … and once you have the answer … keep asking it. Why is there this drive to rebuild Centauri Prime?”
“To reattain our greatness,” she said in confusion. The answer seemed self-evident.
“Why?”
“Telis, this is silly. It’s like talking with a child. `Why, why, why?’ “
“Children are the greatest philosophers in existence. The purpose of the adult is to beat that drive out of children, because it threatens the status quo as created by the adult. Very well, though … I shall answer the questions myself, since it seems too tiresome for you.”
“It’s not a matter of tires-“
But Telis was already moving forward with his train of thought, ticking off the elements on his fingers as he went on. “There is a drive to rebuild Centauri Prime to make it what it once was. Why? To focus the people. Why? Because people of one mind become easier to manage. Why? Because then you can direct them where you want them to go. Why? Because you have someplace specific in mind for them. Why? Because you have a goal for yourself. Why?” He paused and then said, quite slowly, “Because you have decided that the return to the old ways necessitates a return to the expansionism that typified the old Centauri Republic. Because you have decided that no lessons are to be learned from the destruction that befell this planet except that one must be stronger and more focused than one’s opponent if one is to win. Because what you truly seek is a return to a time when the Centauri Republic was the preeminent force in the galaxy, master of all it surveyed. Because you realize that times have changed, and that the Alliance now stands in the way. To overcome the Alliance requires new resolve, new weapons, new and even more fearsome allies, and a rededication and rebuilding that presages a new time of war. It’s all in the histories , Senna. The so-called Age of Rationality of the Gaim that led to their Great Conquest March, a campaign that left four worlds burning in their wake before it ended. The rebuilding of Germany on Earth after their first World War, which set the stage for an even more calamitous second World War.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed. “You’re wrong,” she said, her voice hushed.
“I spoke to you of allowing yourself to be empty, in order that you might become filled with knowledge. Beware those, Senna, who sense their own emptiness … and fill it with ignorance.”
“You’re wrong,” she said again, shaking her head far more vehemently. “And I will tell you why. Because let us look at the history, indeed. In the circumstances you’ve mentioned, the sort of conversation we are having would never be allowed to happen. Particularly, it would not be allowed to happen between a teacher and a ward of the emperor himself . Such regimes as you describe are the antithesis of thought. Free will is not only discouraged, it is forbidden. Dissidents, intellectuals, writers … anyone who can ask the eternal `why’ such as you do, is silenced. And that is not the case here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure! -”
And then, to her astonishment, Telis reached forward and grabbed her by the forearm. There was an intensity-even a bit of fear-that she had never seen in his eyes before. “You are still a member of the privileged elite, Senna. If it were happening, would you truly know until it was too late`? I see others, persons such as myself, others who have questioned or probed … and suddenly they have changed their opinions. Suddenly they have accepted that which is presented presented…”
“Perhaps they have simply realized the rightness of-“
“… or else they have disappeared,” continued Telis.
Senna became silent for a moment. “Disappeared? What do you mean?”
“They move into outlying lands. Or simply drop off the face of the planet. Oh, it’s all done very privately. Very efficiently . When they come for me…” he said thoughtfully, as if speculating about the fate of someone else entirely, “I imagine I shall be one of the ones who just drops off. For they know they cannot silence me any other way. I am publishing a paper at the end of this week that questions the true motives of those who are running the great machine that is our government . It will not earn me any friends and will garner me enemies even more formidable than I presently have.”
Senna could see that this was no longer one of his mind-twisting journeys of curious logic. She took his hand firmly and squeezed it, and said, “Nothing will happen to you. You are my teacher. You are favored by the emperor. You are protected , and your thoughts are valued. Say what you will. No ill will befall you.”
“Is that a promise to me?” He seemed genuinely amused by her fervency.
“That is my conviction and belief in our system, in our society … and in our emperor. I believe in all three.”
He couldn’t help but smile. “Why?” he asked.
She was annoyed, but still couldn’t help but laugh at the insouciance with which he said it. “Because I do.”
“That is circular logic,” he said reprovingly.
“Perhaps. But the nice thing about circular logic is that you can’t break through the circle.”
To her surprise, Telis Elaris then reached over and hugged her tightly. And he whispered into her ear, “Don’t ever change …” And then he paused and added, “. . unless it’s for the better.”
* * *
When Senna returned to the palace, Durla was waiting for her.
She wasn’t quite certain that he was actually waiting for her specifically, but as she approached her chambers, he seemed to materialize from around a corner. “Young lady Senna,” he said with a slight bow. The informal title by which Londo had referred to her had come into common usage around the palace. It seemed almost a term of endearment when spoken by the right individuals … one of whom Durla most certainly was not.
Once again she found herself wondering just what it was that the emperor saw in him. She could only assume that he was extremely efficient in his job. For some reason, however, that thought chilled her even more.
“Minister Durla,” she replied, attending to the response as courtesy demanded.
“I hope your lessons today were appropriately stimulating to the intellect,” he said.
“Yes, they were. Thank you for your consideration.” She started to head toward her chambers, and Durla stepped ever so slightly to one side. It was just enough to block her without coming across as threatening. She stopped in her tracks, folded her arms and regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “Is there something else, Minister?”
“We would be most appreciative if your lessons with Telis Elanns were held within the palace from this day forward,” Durla said.
“Would you?” She was not enamored of the notion, as was painfully clear in her body language and dubious expression. “And why would that be? Pray tell?”
“It is a matter of security.”
“And being minister of Internal Security, that would naturally be important to you. Your concern is noted, Minister, but Telis and I find the fresh air of the outdoors to be more … what was the phrase you used? More `intellectually stimulating ‘than the walls of the palace.”
“Nor would I wish to hamper your educational growth. These are, however, dangerous times.”
“Indeed. How so?”
“Agents and allies of the Alliance lurk everywhere.”
Senna let out an overdramatic gasp and quickly looked around, as if she were concerned that enemies might spring out from the very walls around them.
Durla, for his part, was clearly not amused. “You can afford to take such things lightly, young lady, for your youth gives you a very limited sense of your own mortality. And since you see no enemy, you do not fear one.”
“Actually, it is my understanding that something which you cannot see can be the most dangerous.”
For a moment, Durla actually appeared startled. Senna couldn’t quite figure out why he reacted the way he did, but then he smoothly composed himself, doing it so quickly that S
enna wondered if she had perhaps imagined it all. “Quite so, and since you understand that, I take it that you will acquiesce to our request.”
“You keep saying `we’ and `our,’ Durla. Is this your initiative , or the emperor’s?”
“It is my recommendation. The emperor is in accord with it.”
“I see. And if I ask him, he will verify it?”
“Absolutely. Although I will be hurt if you doubt my word in such an obvious manner.”
Senna considered the situation. She had a feeling that Durla wasn’t lying. That the emperor would indeed back up his minister of Internal Security. Then again, she was a ward of the emperor. He should care about her concerns as well. “You have also said this is a recommendation. Are you prepared to have the emperor order me to confine Telis and myself to the palace?”
To her surprise, Durla said quite soothingly, “Of course not, young lady. No one has any desire to make you feel a prisoner, or constrict your movements beyond that which you are prepared to allow. We … I … am concerned only about your safety.”
“Look at it this way, Durla,” she said. “I became orphaned during a time when death rained from the heavens. At a time when so many died that the corpses were piled up as far as the eye could see. And I survived all that, without your help. So I think I’m more than capable of attending to my own safety.”
“As you wish, young lady. But do be careful. If something were to happen to you, I know the emperor would be most upset. And I doubt that he would be overly enthused by my presenting, as an excuse, the notion that you simply wished to continue taking the air while learning at the feet of Telis Elaris.”