Pyramid Schemes Read online

  “Yes, well, I tend to have a habit of being exactly where I should not be at exactly the wrong time,” I said ruefully.

  Simon seemed to be having trouble finding what to say. “So you’re claiming that you are divinely designated to…what? Free the Shews?”

  “Apparently I am, yes. Unless, of course, you kill me. Or her,” and I indicated Nuskin. “But the fact of the matter is that if you have any hope of freedom, then you need me, and I need her.”

  “Why do you need her?”

  “Because if I’m going to free you all, I’m going to have to persuade the Rama to listen to me. At the moment he just sees me as a diversion, an entertainment. But if you slay her, then I’m going to be the one who stood there and let his mother figure die. How do you think that’s going to fly with him? So my suggestion is that either you kill us both or let us both go. I’m not seeing much middle ground.”

  I was going all in on a roll of the die that I was not in control of. For all I knew, Simon would be perfectly sanguine with cutting down the both of us and considering it a good day. Perhaps both my head and Nuskin’s would wind up being sent back to the Rama as a warning of…of what? Of imminent war? The Shews battling the Rogyptians with their freedom on the line? That did not seem to me the most likely means by which to free them. Then again, I suppose that I was even far less of a likely savior as far as Simon, at the very least, was concerned.

  To my surprise, Simon turned away from me and strode over to Rebeka. He pulled his dagger from his hip and placed it to her throat, which more or less eradicated for me the notion that he was her father, but rather her father-in-law. A father-in-law who seemed at that point quite content with the idea of eliminating his daughter-in-law. “Do you swear,” he said, “that what you’ve told us is true? That God came to you in a vision and instructed you to do what you did?”

  “I swear,” she said, her voice trembling slightly but holding steady. “I swear on my life, on the life of my husband and my parents. I swear on the soul of my child. What I have said is absolutely true. And if this man says that God appeared to him, then I believe it.”

  There was dead silence then. It was obvious what was happening: everyone in the room was waiting to see what decision Simon would make about the matter. I did not know if he was officially their leader, but he was certainly someone to whom they listened very closely.

  Simon looked at Rebeka, then me, then back to her again. Then he pulled the blade from her throat and I could see a small trail of blood dribbling from where he had been holding it against her. He had not been jesting. He absently wiped the blade clean on the side of his tunic.

  “All right,” he said as he slid the blade back into its sheath. “What is the plan?”

  “You let us go,” I said immediately. “I return with her to the palace and inform the Rama that I saved her from a bunch of unknown ruffians. This will earn me his undying gratitude. And I will use that gratitude into manipulating him to making all of you free.”

  They hesitated to reply. I understood why. It was quite a leap of faith that I was asking them to make. Yet I could see from the eyes of some of them that it had a certain allure to it. I decided to try and push it further down the road. “You must have dreamed of it,” I said. “Even slaves have dreams. It’s the one thing that the Rama cannot take from you. You must have dreamt about being able to live free of someone telling you what to do. Of walking away from the construction of endless temples and memorials to men who have done nothing with their lives except to stand on the backs of your labors. You must have dreamt about giving a greater future to your children than you have for yourselves. I am here,” and I thumped my chest, “to provide you with that opportunity. Because I have a dream as well, my friends.” The rhetoric began to soar within me, and for once in my life, I did not feel like a poor peasant bastard. Instead I felt like a king. “I have a dream that on the red hills of Rogypt, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood. I have a dream that the state of Rogypt will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together!”

  “Free at last!” cried one of the slaves, and another shouted, “Free at last!” and a third cried out, “Thank God almighty, we will be free at last!”

  I smiled then, for I knew I had them. I turned to Simon then and waited for his approval.

  Instead he scowled at me, took two quick steps forward and clamped his large hand around my throat. I gurgled in surprise but that was all that I was in a position to do at that moment.

  “If you lead these people down a false path,” he snarled in my face, “if you make promises of things that you are not able to achieve, I swear that I will hunt you down and send you straight to our God so that you can explain your failure to Him in person. Do you understand me?”

  I wasn’t able to respond because he was cutting off my air, and I could not nod because my head was clamped in place. So I simply managed to make a soft grunting noise.

  That appeared to convey the thrust of my response, because he released his grip upon my throat and I fell to the floor. My staff was still lying there and I used it to shove myself back up to standing.

  “Do not lead my people down a false path, stranger,” Simon warned me. “If you do, it will not end well for you.”

  It rarely ends well for me, I thought grimly, but kept that opinion to myself.

  Instead I drew myself up as tall and commandingly as I was able and said, “Am I free to leave and take Nuskin with me?”

  “Go,” said Simon, and then could not help but add, “But if you betray us, I will find you and make you pay for that betrayal.”

  “Yes, you have made that more than clear. Come,” I said to Nuskin and headed for the door.

  But then a hand clamped on my shoulder once more. It was Simon, of course, and he said with soft anger, “Do you truly believe that we will simply allow you to leave here and see the whereabouts of this place?”

  “I had given it no thought at all one way or the other. If you have to cover our heads yet again, feel free to do so.”

  As it turned out, that was exactly what they did. They pulled a bag over my head and presumably Nuskin’s as well and prepared to lead us out. As they did so, a voice spoke softly in my ear. I recognized it immediately as Rebeka’s and she whispered to me, “Avenge my son.”

  I didn’t respond save to briefly nod and then I was thrust forward. I felt something being shoved onto my back and realized that it was my bastard sword. Obviously my belongings were being returned to me, and I at least felt grateful for that.

  Now, though, I had a very serious problem. I had talked a good game, but the Shews were going to be expecting results. Which meant that I was going to have to find a way to convince the Rama to release the Shews.

  And the truth was that I still didn’t have the faintest idea how to do that.

  We were walked through the city for a time. I had no clue why no one we passed asked something relevant such as, “Hey, who are those people with bags over their heads?” It almost made me wonder if they had a weaver who had managed to render us invisible somehow. Eventually we were halted and the bags yanked off. I was able to see then that it was night, quite possibly rather late, and there was no one walking the streets. Nuskin was indeed standing right next to me and we stared at each other, scarcely able to believe that our captors had set us free. Without a word the Shews who had escorted us here disappeared into the shadows of the city.

  “We’re alive,” Nuskin whispered.

  “Right.” I did not whisper. “And now all I have to do is find a way to convince the Rama to free the Shews, because if I don’t, they’re going to kill us.” I had had my back to her, but now I turned to face her
. “Is there anything you can do? Do you have any influence over him?”

  “None. He reveres me as much as a young man can revere the woman who raised him, but he would not lend an ear to my opinions about freeing the Shews.”

  “All right, then. So I’ll have to come up with something else.”

  She rested a hand on my shoulder and said, “I have confidence in you.”

  People tended to say that to me a lot. I wished they would stop saying that because it generally did not end well for them, either.

  Chapter 7 Sister Act

  We made our way quickly back to the palace. As we approached the large entrance, several guards spotted us and immediately ran down the stairs toward us. There was clear alarm on their faces. The moment they drew within hearing range one of the bigger ones said, “We were told that you were kidnapped!”

  “Where did you hear that?”

  “A hmway!”

  That was news I had not expected. “I thought he was dead!” “No,” said one of the guards, shaking his head vigorously. “No,

  he survived. The arrow was extracted from his back and, as near as we can determine, did not puncture anything vital. He is weak but very much alive.”

  “Unless the Rama has slain him,” said the other guard. “He was most irate when he heard that you had been kidnapped and his first inclination was to slay the person he deemed responsible for it.”

  “Well, let’s make certain to stop him from doing that,” I said. Quickly we entered the palace and were brought straight to the Rama’s throne room. There we waited, glancing uncomfortably at each other, neither of us certain how to proceed. Then the large doors at the far end of the room were thrown open and the Rama entered. There was clear relief on his face when he saw Nuskin standing there. Clearly he had not wanted to believe that she was safe until he saw her with his own eyes. “Nuskin!” he cried out and limped as quickly as he could toward her. He wound up becoming tangled in his own feet and tripped himself, crashing to the floor. Several accompanying guards attempted to reach down and pick him up, but he waved them off angrily. “I can stand! I’m not a child!” he called out childishly and, some moments later, had managed to haul himself to his feet. He stumbled the remaining distance and Nuskin managed to subtly catch him.

  The man whom Ahmway had referred to as Mane ran into the throne room as well. There was clear surprise on his face when he saw us. “You are alive!” he exclaimed.

  “Yes, it is a nasty habit that I have gotten into,” I replied. “How did you do it?” I noticed that Mane sounded more suspicious than anything else. “We had assumed that we would never see you again.”

  Nuskin’s gaze shifted to me. It was clear she was going to say nothing, but instead simply agree with whatever I came up with.

  I saw no point in telling the Rama that the Shews had orchestrated the kidnapping. All that would accomplish would be to harden his heart even further against them. My mind racing, I said, “We were kidnapped by a group of mercenary men. They were Rogyptians, as near as I could determine. They were intending to ransom us. But I was able to get the drop on them and fight our way to freedom.”

  “You got the drop on them? How?” said Mane suspiciously.

  “They thought that they had disarmed me, but as it turned out, they were wrong.” I nodded toward the dragon head of my staff and touched a button. The bladed tongue snapped out and the Rama gasped in almost childish delight. “I cut their throats before they even knew what happened.”

  “Marvelous!” declared the Rama, clapping his hands in joy. “Oh, well done, Apropos, well done! Do you see, Mane? Do you?”

  “Very clearly, yes,” said Mane. He was now genuinely smiling, and that surprised me greatly. I’d encountered many men like Mane before. Typically they were schemers, always endeavoring to try and figure out how they could usurp power for themselves. In this case, however, he seemed actually happy that everything had transpired the way that I said it had. I wasn’t sure if he was intentionally trying to lull me into a false sense of security, or if he truly felt that way. “Well done, Apropos. You are a genuine hero. Nuskin owes you her life.”

  “And I owe you a debt I can never repay,” said the Rama. His smile broadened. “And I know exactly how to reward you. You will be married at once!”

  I blinked in confusion. “Excuse me? What?”

  Mane likewise seemed confused. “Rama? I am not quite sure I understand.”

  “My sister!” said the Rama, bubbling over with pleasure. “We have been wondering what to do with her! This is the perfect answer! He can marry her and become my brother in law!”

  Nuskin seemed a bit concerned at the notion that I was having my bachelorhood tossed aside by the Rama. “I…am not sure that is wise…”

  “He protected you, did he not? He will be able to protect her as well!” He switched his attention back to me. “You have not met her yet, have you? Come! I will introduce you!”

  It was one of the few times in my life that I had no idea what to say. My mouth moved but no words emerged.

  “Rama,” Mane said, “perhaps we should discuss this first…”

  “Nonsense!” said the Rama. “This will well attend to my sister and I will no longer have to give her any thought. She believes,” and once more he shifted his gaze to me, “that she will be the next ruler of Rogypt after I pass. This will attend to that.”

  “I don’t understand. She is your older sister? Then why is she not the ruler now?”

  It was Nuskin who replied: “Because according to Rogyptian law, as long as there is a male heir, it is the male who inherits. Females are shunted aside in favor of the men, always.”

  “That sounds fair,” I said sarcastically. Nuskin could not help but smile, perceiving the tone of my voice.

  The Rama, however, took my comment quite seriously. “Yes, isn’t it? Thank you for understanding, Apropos. My sister never has. Come. Let us meet her together. She will doubtless be in her room; she is always in her room.”

  Interlocking his arm through mine, the Rama led me down one of the countless long hallways in the palace. I kept looking at Nuskin in confusion, still uncertain what in the world was happening. I had only met the Rama bare days before. How had he become so enamored of me in such a short time that he wanted to marry me to his sister? None of this was making any sense. Then again, I suppose that when one is dealing with a teen, things don’t have to make sense. The fact that he had had the idea at all was enough for him to convince himself in his own mind that it was a superb notion. Perhaps that was all that was required.

  “Here,” he said, striding up to one ornate door, and he pounded on it authoritatively. “Clea! Open up! I want to introduce you to someone!”

  An annoyed teen voice sounded from the other side. “Why would I want to meet someone that you want to introduce me to?”

  “Because I am your ruler and I am ordering you to.”

  There was a brief pause and an aggravated sigh, and then the door was literally flung open. An annoyed teen girl was standing there.

  She was the most beautiful young woman I had ever seen.

  I could scarcely believe it. I had not been at all sure of what to expect, but it was certainly not this vision of loveliness standing before me.

  But her beautiful features were twisted into nothing but irritation. It was almost sacrilegious to see such a gorgeous face have anything save a glowing smile painted upon it.

  She stared at me impatiently and it was only then that I realized my jaw had dropped open. I closed it and it made an audible click as it did so.

  “Clea,” he said proudly, “this is Apropos. Your future husband.”

  She actually laughed scornfully. It was as if someone had fired an arrow into my chest. “This?” she said dismissively. “Are you out of your mind, Lama? He’s ancient!”

  I was taken aback by her dismissal. “I’m older than you, I grant that, but I’m hardly ancient.”

  “I don’t care what you hav
e to say,” she informed me and then said to her brother, “And I don’t care what you have to say, either. You are not going to select my husband for me, and it’s of no relevance what y—”

  The Rama’s cane swung so fast, so viciously, that Clea had no chance of getting out of its way. It slammed across the back of her knee and sent her crumbling to the ground. She cried out, grabbing the injured leg and calling out a list of what I assume to be imprecations so quickly that I could not understand a word she was saying.

  The Rama brought his cane around again and slammed it on the floor just to the right of her head. When he spoke his voice was utterly calm. “That could have smashed in your pretty face just then,” he said. “Without your face, what would you have then?”

  She didn’t reply because she was busy gasping in pain as she wrapped her hands around her leg.

  “I think you need a further lesson,” he said and brought the cane around to strike her with it yet again.

  I could not abide his actions any further. As he drew back the cane to bring it swinging down, I grabbed it and yanked it from his hand. The movement was so violent that the Rama stumbled, bereft of his cane, and only the quick action of Mane prevented him from tumbling to the floor. The Rama’s head snapped around and he looked upon me with clear betrayal in his face.

  I did not hesitate. “No future husband will tolerate a man beating his future wife. Even if that man is the ruler of all Rogypt.”

  To my surprise, a look of understanding seemed to pass across his face. He then bowed slightly to me and said, “Yes. Of course. Quite right. May I have my cane, please?” and he put out his hand expectantly. Seeing no way around it, I returned it to him. He then said to Mane, “Come. Let us leave the happy couple here to become acquainted with each other.”

  He then turned away and strode out the door as well as his lame leg would allow. The others followed and the doors swung shut behind them.